Last Week
Joe: 9-5Aaron: 9-5
Current Standings Joe: 73-44Aaron: 68-49
Kansas City at San Diego (Thursday)
Aaron: While watching the sixth orseventh one-man tantrum from Chargers QB Philip Rivers during last week's lossto an execrable Cleveland Browns team, I was struck by the realization that SanDiego's competitive window has closed. Over the past 10 years, this team went through talent such as DrewBrees, LaDanian Tomlinson, Michael Turner and Antonio Gates. They posted a 14-2 season not long ago andreached the doorstep of an AFC Championship more than once. Now, they've been supplanted in the divisionby a Denver team led by a 60-year-old quarterback with a reconstructed neckwhile a sad sack Oakland squad can at least boast about their one-year headstart towards rebuilding. There is asilver lining, San Diego. At leastyou're not the Chiefs. Pick:San Diego
Joe: The Chiefs really haveskyrocketed to the bottom rung of the NFL ladder. The talent being wasted inJamaal Charles (and I guess Dwayne Bowe) is heartbreaking. Let's hope for theirfans sake that there's no ill-advised upswing towards the end of the year sothey can at least secure the top draft spot. Pick: San Diego
Denver at Cincinnati
Aaron: The Bengals have beenjust bad enough to lose their last three games by an averageof seven points. That's the kind ofmargin that Peyton Manning can account for by himself in the fourthquarter. Still, I'm not sure theBengals/Broncos are as bad/good as they looked last month. Pick: Cincinnati
Joe: Yeah, we've reached the"pump them brakes" stage of the Broncos' better-than-expected season.Seeing a path where the AFC might be weak enough for Denver to make the Super Bowlisn't quiiiite the same thing as them being Super Bowl caliber team. Still... Pick: Denver
Baltimore at Cleveland
Aaron: The Ravens are coming off a byeweek, which gave them seven extra days to brood over their 30-point loss to theTexans. Ray Lewis has already turnedstate's evidence in anticipation of the slaughter. Pick: Baltimore
Joe: Have there been anyboredom-induced think pieces about how the results of the Bengals and Brownsgames this weekend portend to Ohioans' behavior at the polls on Tuesday?...It's like y'all aren't even trying. Pick: Baltimore
Arizona at Green Bay
Aaron: The Packers seem content to winugly this season while playing up or down to the level of their competition. It's a perfectly cromulent approach andeerily similar to that of The Ultimate Warrior's 1987-1991 WWF run. Pick: Green Bay
Joe: Poor Cardinals. Remember whenthey were 4-0 and life in the desert was sweet and arid? Now they're 4-4 andsubject to a Sunday in Wisconsin, where the air is chilly with a hint ofcheese. Pick: Green Bay
Chicago at Tennessee
Aaron: Jay Cutler comes home! Well, I mean...he was born in Georgia andgrew up in Indiana, but he went to college at Vanderbilt! For four years! As memorable Tennessee ties go, Cutler'sranks right up there with 1990s rap group Arrested Development's and their hitsong of the same name. They fall aboutsix months and 29 days shy of Cutler's Tennessee tenure, though. (You'll get that one, eventually,everyone.) Pick:Chicago
Joe: Not willing to let my lack offaith the Bears become my downfall this season. Pick:Chicago
Miami at Indianapolis
Aaron: I suspect everyone will beoverrating Miami after their annihilation of the Jets last week -- a Jets team,by the way, that was similarly overrated by some (well, by me) after they hungtough against the Patriots two weeks ago. The point here is that I'm not falling for itagain! Not THIS week, anyway! Pick: Indianapolis
Joe: I like Indy to play tough athome, but that Dolphins defense has been stingy. Pick: Miami
Carolina at Washington
Aaron: Redskins QB Robert Griffin IIIis hailed as DC's savior. Panthers QB Cam Newton is reviled for his aloofnessand failure to act like a leader. Who'sgoing to be the first hacky sportswriter to compare them to 2008 and 2012Barack Obama, respectively? Hurry, RickReilly! There's still time! Pick: Washington
Joe: Oh hell, that's a GOOD one! Pick:Washington
Detroit at Jacksonville
Aaron: Well, look who decided to showup last week! Lions QB Matt Stafford andhis nationwide fantasy football team killing spree came to an unexpected end ashe put up good numbers for the first time all year. And, as a final f**k you, he did it whilemost of America had long since benched him. Let's all shake our fists in a comically threatening manner when thisgame kicks off on Sunday, 'K? Pick:Detroit
Joe: Not even joking, he sat on mybench last week. I hate him SO much, you guys. Fat-faced goon. Pick:Detroit
Buffalo at Houston
Aaron: More likely to happen -- TexansQB Matt Schaub throws for 500 yards or Texans RB Arian Foster runs for 300yards? Discuss. But, not in front of Joe, you guys. It's just common courtesy. Pick: Houston
Joe: Look, I've been through a LOTthis week. ... Or, okay, I've been adjacent to people who have been though aLOT this week. Not looking forward to this. It's a good thing Mario Williams'wrist injury will not keep him from playing this game. Which means he'll bemaking his Buffalo Bills debut, yes? Pick: Houston
Minnesota at Seattle
Aaron: Both teams are reeling a bitafter losing their respective "these teams might be better than wethink" tiaras sometime last month. The Seahawks' defense, though, remains strong against the run. This feels like one of those 16-14 finalscores with no viewing value. Myapologies, Puyallup. Pick: Seattle
Joe: Yeah, I'll definitely takeSeattle's defense against turnover-prone Christian Ponder. Pick: Seattle
Tampa Bay at Oakland
Aaron: The Raiders have beaten up on apair of cream puffs to crawl back into quasi-contention in the AFC West. The Buccaneers are more like bread pudding orred velvet cake -- desserts that a lot of people like, but I've always found tobe lacking...especially when compared to apple brown betty or key limepie. Pick: Oakland
Joe: No idea what to make of either ofthese schizophrenic teams this season. But what a Super Bowl rematch we have onour hands! Gruden Bowl II! John Gruden! Was a football coach once! Pick:Tampa Bay
Pittsburgh at NY Giants
Aaron: With all of the wins the Giantshave racked up recently, it's easy to forget that QB Eli Manning is quietly havingone of the worst fantasy stretches of his career. And, yes, along with Matt Stafford, he's alsoon my big-money fantasy team! Next year,I'll just set my goddam money on fire! Pick: NY Giants
Joe: Nothing more frustrating infantasy than a QB whose team wins AND puts up a lot of points and STILL givesyou nothing. Nothing more frustrating in LIFE. Pick: NYGiants
Dallas at Atlanta
Aaron: There's a reason that everyoneseems to overrate the Cowboys -- even a little -- every season. It's because they occasionally win games theyhave no business winning. Against anundefeated team on the road? Sure, whynot. Pick: Dallas
Joe: Ohhhh, I'm so glad you did that.Pick: Atlanta
Philadelphia at New Orleans
Aaron: I listened to more than one NFLtalking head insist that Eagles coach Andy Reid had to staywith Michael Vick as his starting quarterback. When Reid is inevitably fired after this season, Tony Dungy better notbe a dick and should let Reid sleep on his couch until he lands on hisfeet. Pick: NewOrleans
Joe: No chance New Orleans looks likecomplete garbage in prime time two weeks in a row, right? Pick: NewOrleans
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