26 Kasım 2012 Pazartesi

2012 NFL Pickery -- Week #5

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Last Week 
Aaron: 11-4Joe:11-4 
Current Standings 
Joe: 38-25Aaron: 36-27  Arizona at St. Louis 
Aaron: It's easy to look sideways atthe Cardinals' three-point OT squeaker at home over a mediocre Dolphins teamlast week and question whether Arizona's 4-0 record is real or a mirage. Youknow what's even easier? Picking against a Rams team that's playing on a shortweek with a dinged-up running back against a decent run defense. Pick:Arizona 
Joe: I actually thought the Cardinalsshowed a lot in that win over Miami. Fighting off an obvious letdown game andcoming back to do so? Sure, it was Miami, but they've been a tough out thisseason. So is St. Louis, I should mention, and you know how I feel aboutdivision games on the road. I think Arizona is the clear better team here, withtheir defense, but why not make it interesting? Pick: St.Louis 
Miami at Cincinnati

Aaron: The Bengals are in the middle of an especiallyunimpressive run of cupcake opponents -- Jacksonville! Cleveland! (Twice!)Miami! -- and could be 5-1 in advance of their Week #7 Sunday night showdownagainst the Steelers. I was WAY late to the Bengals bandwagon last year and hadto stand in the aisle. Of course, I was thrown through the windshield when thebandwagon crashed after I picked Cincinnati to beat Houston in the first roundof the playoffs. I've learned nothing! Pick: Cincinnati
 
Joe: God, remember when these twoteams and the Bills were the top of the AFC heap in the early '90s? ...No?Well, it happened! And Americans watched a show called PicketFences! It was a different time! Pick: Cincinnati

Green Bay at Indianapolis

Aaron: So, who'll be the first national football writer orTV personality to juxtapose the Packers' tainted Monday Night Football loss twoweeks ago with the recent news of Colts head coach Chuck Pagano's leukemiadiagnosis and use it to condescendingly explain to us all what REAL hardshipsare? (It'll be Bob Costas.) And, will he be able to fit it all into a single"Sunday Night Essay" segment? Pick: Green Bay
 
Joe: Is THIS the week the Packersactually decide to start playing? Also, is there a head coach in the leagueyou're more certain you'd have hated in college than Mike McCarthy? Pick:Green Bay

Baltimore at Kansas City

Aaron: A "Show-Me State" thought experiment: Askany dyed-in-the-wool, red-state Missourian if he/she would rather have fourmore years of President Obama or 2 3/4 more years of Chiefs head coach RomeoCrennel finishing his current contract. You have to live withone! Pick: Baltimore
 
Joe: How long til we start talkingabout Jamaal Charles and Dwayne Bowe like we talked about Larry Fitzgerald lastseason? Fantasy juggernauts stuck on terrible teams: life's greatest tragedy!Pick: Baltimore

Atlanta at Washington

Aaron: The Redskins aren't a great team, but they're goodenough to give the Falcons a few fits with their offense. All things beingequal, I'd even take the Redskins if rookie QB Robert Griffin III wasn't,y'know, a rookie. But, if we learned nothing else from Jamie Foxx's performanceas rookie QB "Steamin' Willie Beamen" in Any GivenSunday, it's that Jamie Foxx is kinda overrated as an actor. Wait,that was Ray that taught us that. Never mind. Pick:Atlanta
 
Joe: I guess I'm the guy who overratesthe Redskins this year? At least for picking purposes. No team can stayunbeaten forever! Or for five weeks, I guess! Pick:Washington

Philadelphia at Pittsburgh

Aaron: The death of Raiders owner Al Davis guarantees that Iwon't have to worry about any "Raiders Acquire Eagles QB Vick for DraftPicks" headlines this offseason. I mean...it would've happened, people.Pick: Pittsburgh
 
Joe: No, but seriously, how doesPhilly keep winning these games? Pick: Pittsburgh

Cleveland at NY Giants

Aaron: Hopefully, you guys follow at least a few Giants fanson Twitter. This feels like one of those games where they'll be dispensing ALLCAPS RAGE TWEETS throughout the first half, before the Giants remember they'retwo touchdowns better than their opponent and pull away late. (Don't let medown, Tom!) Pick: NY Giants
 
Joe: Hi, Eli, remember your trusty TEMartellus Bennett? Throw to him again. Pick: NY Giants

Seattle at Carolina

Aaron: My eight-year-old son has been reading those"Diary of a Wimpy Kid" books. One of the major plot points in thefirst book involves some kind of school yard curse called the "cheesetouch". I'm boring you with this in the hope that our nation'ssportswriters can come up with a hackneyed dairy-related nickname for thekarmic "curse" that befell the Seahawks after their referee-stainedvictory over Green Bay two weeks ago. "The Curds Curse"? Fuck it, gowith that. Pick: Carolina
 
Joe: I'm basically arbitrarily pickingthe Seahawks here, on the back of a stalwart performance by oh, let's say,Marshawn Lynch. Pick: Seattle

Chicago at Jacksonville

Aaron: The Bears' next four games are all very winnable. Thisshould allow QB Jay Cutler to build up just enough goodwillfor fearlessly leading a 7-1 team in to mid-November. He will inevitably crashand burn in back-to-back weeks against Houston and San Francisco, but that'slike five or six weeks away. Let the ol' sourpuss enjoy October, OK? Pick:Chicago
 
Joe: Trap games still exist, right?Didn't we all have a raging, high-handed, hurt-feelings debate among sportsfans as to whether trap games exist? If they do, this is certainly one. Andwhile it gives me that deep, pit-of-your-stomach feeling like when you're atthe top of a rollercoaster to pick the Jags ... oh, hell. Pick:Jacksonville

Denver at New England

Aaron: The Schadenfreude -- emanating from ESPN's Podcenterby way of Los Angeles by way of Boston -- has been out full force this week.But, before we eulogize Peyton Manning's limb, perhaps we should remember thathis Broncos have lost twice this season...to arguably the two best teams in theleague. Cancel the amputation. Pick: Denver
 
Joe: Sweet Jesus, how would I like forPeyton to beat the Patriots this week. Only a deluded asshole would think a"reverse jinx" would work. (Also ... pretty sure it's just a"jinx" -- a "reverse jinx," like "reverseracism," is a made-up thing that doesn't even mean what you think itmeans. Yeah, Universal You, I said it!) Pick: New England

Buffalo at San Francisco

Aaron: Let's take Joe's mind off of this inevitable annihilationby taking him back 20 years. In 1992, the Bills played in San Francisco anddefeated the 49ers 34-31 on a Thurman Thomas 11 yard TD run in the 4th quarter.QB Jim Kelly threw for 403 yards and three touchdowns. Good times. Pick:San Francisco
 
Joe: No punts in that game! Anyway, Iguess the Bills are the "beat the bad teams, lose to the good teams"squad this year. We've had worse. Pick: San Francisco

Tennessee at Minnesota

Aaron: Titans backup QB Matt Hasselbeck, 57, looked prettydamn good in relief of an injured Jake Locker last week. If RB Chris Johnson'ssmoldering corpse wasn't lining up behind him, I'd give this one a closer look.Meanwhile, Minnesota is...NOT terrible? Pick: Minnesota
 
Joe: My bald-head boyfriend MattHasselbeck ... wish I could pick you here, boo! I've somehow become a Vikingssemi-believer. Pick: Minnesota

San Diego at New Orleans

Aaron: Lot of confidence filling the sun-drenched streetshere in San Diego this week. Three wins against three terrible teams hasChargers fans forgetting that their team isn't as good as their 3-1 recordseems. With news that NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell is allowing exiled Saintscoach Sean Payton to attend this game in some nebulous capacity, I'm smellingthe laziest postgame storyline of the season. Pick: NewOrleans
 
Joe: San Diego only beats bad teams... but the Saints might be one. That said, they probably SHOULD have beat thePackers last week, and they can't stay winless forever. Pick: NewOrleans

Houston at NY Jets

Aaron: There's no way Tim Tebow's NOT starting the secondhalf for the Jets here, right? Pick: Houston
 
Joe: You're part of the problem! Pick:Houston

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