Last Week
Aaron: 11-2-1Joe: 8-5-1
Current Standings
Joe: 91-53-1Aaron: 88-56-1
Miami at Buffalo (Thursday Night)
Aaron: Kudos to all the Internet TruthWarrior Patriots out there who are trying to make this "Reggie Bush vs.the women of Buffalo" kerfuffle into an actual news story. (And, damned ifit doesn't have all the 21st century style points: lazy generalizations,overweighting an athlete's opinion on anything and a self-appointed,self-important defender of honor and virtue). Back in MY day, former Dolphins LB Bryan Cox went to war with the entireCITY of Buffalo. There was spitting,middle fingers, alleged slurs and fights with Carwell Gardner. Carwell Gardner! There was a lot more to the 1990s than pogsand relevant black sitcoms, y'all. Pick:Buffalo
Joe: Oh, did Reggie say Buffalo womenwere fat and ugly? I can never keep track of which athletes have let that novelobservation fly. (Also, he dated KIM KARDASHIAN. (Fat) check and (ugly) mate.Anyway, the Bills. Talented enough on offense (i.e. at the running backposition) to generate enough points to win a few games this year, ensuring athoroughly dispiriting 6- or 7-win season and steering clear from any draftpick that might threaten to make a difference. Although I guess there's thecase of Robert Griffin III, a talented as hell player in the biggestdifference-making position on the field who nonetheless has the Redskinsnowhere near playoff caliber. Anyway, win, lose, who cares? The world is anendlessly unfurling gray terrain of meaninglessness. Pick: Miami
Arizona at Atlanta
Aaron: The Falcons first loss of theseason last week -- which I TOTALLY randomly guessed right by accident -- wasthe inevitable result of a team that's been taking on water for awhile. Their wildly talented passing game has beenincreasingly undercut by pretty much everything else on the field that doesn'trequire QB Matt Ryan throwing a football. And, that's at least two or three other things, you guys. Pick: Atlanta
Joe: Does it seem to anyone else thatArizona hasn't even played a game since their 4-0 start? They seem to havedropped right out of the league. I still think that defense can give any teamin the league problems, but they can't seem to move the ball at all. Pick:Atlanta
Cleveland at Dallas
Aaron: The Cowboys win against theEagles last week combined with the predictable panic over the Giants equallypredictable midseason swoon has led to an unnerving amount of "the Cowboyscan win this division" nonsense. Settledown. The Cowboys can't play terribleteams every week. Well, starting NEXT week, presumably. Pick: Dallas
Joe: So long as DeMarco Murray remainsinjured, Cowboys opponents can't be counted out of games. Though if there was anyweek for a big ol' ego-soothing blowout, this would be it. Pick: Dallas
Green Bay at Detroit
Aaron: One year ago, the Lions hostedthe Packers on Thanksgiving Day. The narrative was all about "the changingof the guard" in the NFC North, as the Lions were poised to end AaronRodgers' tyrannical reign. Today,Rodgers STILL lords over his empire -- rife with his self-effacing commercialsand doe-eyed affability. Pick: GreenBay
Joe: Curse that handsome devil! I feelbad for Lions fans, who were teased with a playoff run last year only to bebeaten back down into irrelevance, but that's what happens when you entrustyour team to a fat-faced fantasy-season killer like Matthew Stafford. Pick:Green Bay
Cincinnati at Kansas City
Aaron: Dennis Green in Arizona...ArtShell in Oakland (again)...Romeo Crennel in Kansas City. The sideline shot of recycled black coacheswho've clearly stopped giving a shit is one of our more underrated autumntraditions. Pick: Cincinnati
Joe: Uncle Phil during the latterseasons of "The Fresh Prince of Bel Air"? You know, when he became ajudge? Would that count? I'm not sure what other kind of analysis anyone issupposed to offer for a game like this. Kansas City is awful. That's it. Pick:Cincinnati
Philadelphia at Washington
Aaron: Watching back-up Eagles QB NickFoles hilariously -- and unsuccessfully -- hightail it from a consistentonslaught of defensive pressure last week has me hoping Chris Berman's nextobnoxious nickname is along the lines of "Nick 'Feets Don't FOLES MeNow'". Don't worry...if history isany indication, co-host Tom Jackson won't act all offended until several dayslater. Pick:Washington
Joe: (DANG! That is a deep cut from the TJ file!) This season's Eagles team makes me think of nothing so much as that line from Angels in America, when Harper Pitt says, "I don't understand why I'm not dead. Your heart breaks, you should die." I'm not sure if the fizzling promise of last season's superteam counts as a heart breaking, but everybody just seems confused that they're still playing, right? Anyway, someone has finally used an Angels in America quote to preview an NFL game, so the Mayans can do what they want with us, then.
Tampa Bay at Carolina
Aaron: So...the Bucs have the league'sworst pass defense, but best run defense. This means the Panthers' fortunes rely almost solely on the arm of theenigmatic Cam Newton. Well, that waseasy. Pick: Tampa Bay
Joe: Have the Bucs had their "notso fast" inexplicable divisional road loss yet? Pick:Carolina
Jacksonville at Houston
Aaron: 22 years ago this week, theUniversity of Houston hung 84 points on Eastern Washington. Feel free to use that one (and name dropDavid Klingler!) on your Hooters girl at halftime of this inevitabledebacle. Pick:Houston
Joe: On Bill Simmons's weeklypodcast/hilarious comedy revue with the esteemed "Cousin Sal," heclaimed that Jacksonville should not have a football team. I find that kind ofstatement condescending and unnecessarily callous towards Jacksonville fans, orI would if I thought any existed. Pick: Houston
NY Jets at St. Louis
Aaron: Everyone realizes that TimTebow -- when it's all said and done -- is going to be the ONLY personassociated with his professional football career, directly or indirectly, whodidn't come across as an asshole, right? Pick: St. Louis
Joe: Last week's Rams-49ers game wasthe first time I'd ever actually watched an NFL tie occur. It's tough to watcha team play for a tie, as both teams ultimately did at the end there, and haveany confidence in them to win going into the future. Just demoralizing. Pick:NY Jets
New Orleans at Oakland
Aaron: As a fan, it was a taddispiriting that this Raiders team not only lost big last week, but seemedperfectly fine with the Ravens rolling out a fake field goal while leading by24 points. Say what you want about lateowner Al Davis, but if that happened under his watch, RayLewis would've been shanked in retaliation. Irony! Pick: NewOrleans
Joe: I'm waiting patiently for thegame where the Saints improbably revived playoff hopes get cut down like ascene from The Walking Dead. But the Raiders' defensedoesn't appear to be equipped to stop them. Pick: NewOrleans
San Diego at Denver
Aaron: Last week, Chargers QB PhilipRivers threw the most Philip Rivers-ian interception of the Philip Riversera. The defender was less than 10 yardsin from of him. No other player fromeither side was between them. "I didn't think he'd do 'Moon River', but then BAM! Secondencore!" Pick:Denver
Joe: Can we get back to the thingwhere Eric Decker scores a TD every week? If not for my fantasy season then atleast for the extra 2-3 sideline close-ups of his face? Thanks, Peyton, I'dappreciate it. Pick: Denver
Indianapolis at New England
Aaron: Years ago, respected NFL writerPeter King explained the convoluted scheduling reasoning behind why these twoteams seem to play each other every season. I always assumed it was more about: Peyton Manning! Tom Brady! NielsenRatings! The Andrew Luck Colts can't becounted out, but...New England in November, you guys. Pick: New England
Joe: Wishful thinking. Don't care.Pick: Indianapolis
Baltimore at Pittsburgh
Aaron: You know what thisalways-unwatchable, defense-first series needed? Steelers backup QB Byron Leftwich getting hisfirst start since 2009! Negative pointsare a distinct possibility! Pick:Baltimore
Joe: The Steelers needing to startLeftwich this week reminds me of how I would always have "buy aflashlight" on my list of things to do and all of a sudden a hurricane wascoming and I had to scramble to get whatever crappy product was available at amoment's notice. Gotta prepare for disaster, guys. Pick:Baltimore
Chicago at San Francisco
Aaron: And, erstwhile Redskins andRaiders QB Jason Campbell is getting the start for Chicago here! I saw one of the national sportswritersreferenced Campbell's 10-5 record in his last 15 starts as a reason to notunderestimate him. I'm going to do it,anyway. Pick: SanFrancisco
Joe: These were the two dominant NFCteams the year I started watching football. Jim McMahon! Joe Montana! RichardDent! Ditka! Walsh! Honorary G.I. Joe William "The Refrigerator"Perry, whose "Joe" action figure was hilariously svelte! Somehow,Jason Campbell vs. Colin Kapernick can't compare. Pick:Chicago
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