For theSEVENTH consecutive year, I'm teaming up with my good friend Joe Reidto pick NFL games. After the first three years, I was 3-0 against him.Honestly, you guys, I don't know why he even bothers to show up. He barely evenbeat me the past three years. And, his cheating was more rampant than ever.
Dallas at N.Y. Giants
Joe: It simultaneously feels way toolong since we last had football and yet also I don't feel adequately preparedfor it. It's yet another season with the Giants as our non-dominant defendingSuper Bowl champions. And yet, if the defense stays healthy and they can growsomething of a running game, there's no reason they couldn't win again. As forDallas ... where's the offseason controversy, 'Boys? Oh, Dez Bryant misbehaveda little -- that's it?! No QB controversy ginned-up by your tight-faced owner?No courting of an unobtainable head coach? Have they installed thatrollercoaster in the new stadium yet? Snooze. Pick: NYGiants
Aaron: While America very much remainsa nation divided by our ideologies, I hope we can all agree to assignmeaningless "meanings" and lose our collective sh*t when this gametrounces the second night of the Democratic National Convention in theovernight ratings. No? Then, can we all agree that the defending Super Bowlchampion NEVER loses these mid-week season-opening coronations? Don't look it up! I'm right! I think! Pick: NY Giants
Indianapolis at Chicago
Aaron: The annual season-openingnarratives get more far-fetched every year. Sportswriters' keyboards were collectively climaxing all over AndrewLuck in August, anointing him "the best QB prospect in [chronologicalhyperbole]!". Meanwhile, BrandonMarshall's climb up the fantasy football WR rankings belies the fact that,psychologically, he's better suited to "case study" or "Batman's Rogues Gallery". Pick: Chicago
New England at Tennessee
Aaron: The Titans are young ondefense, but they match up well with the Patriots' short-pass preference. The Patriots, on the other hand, are rollingout a refurbished defense that'll be tasked with stopping RB ChrisJohnson. You might remember him as theguy who torpedoed your 2011 fantasy football season. I do, too. I wanna pick the inexplicable upset, but my last image of Titans QB JakeLocker was in the 2010 Holiday Bowl. Where he played really, really bad! Recency effect, FTW. Pick: New England
Joe: I think the Titans will be atough out for teams this season, but probably not capable of the huge upset thisearly on. Meanwhile, the Patriots remain the default AFC favorites despitehaving a bad defense and unproven running game. I know how this story ends andI LIKE IT. Pick: New England
Buffalo at N.Y. Jets
Aaron: Injuries obliterated thepromise of Buffalo's 5-2 start last year and may have been directly responsiblefor Joe's broken heart during the holidays. With good health, I like this Bills squad a lot. The Jets, meanwhile, have been positioned bythe media as New York's most unlikeable franchise since the 1992 Mets. I imagine the *not-at-all* self-servingfulfillment of those sportswriters' prophecies are coming next summer to abookstore near you. Pick:Buffalo
Joe: My Bills are the trendy pick tomake the playoffs this year, and that all sounds nice, but I'd be lying if Isaid I wasn't battening down the hatches for failure. This pick isn't reversepsychology. The Jets had all the same question marks last season when they beatBuffalo twice. Sadly, they'll do it again. Pick: NY Jets
Washingtonat New Orleans
Aaron: Look, I'm just saying I'd have a lot more faith in rookie Redskins QB Robert Griffin III if he didn'tremind me of Kel Mitchell -- the LESS talented half of the"Kenan & Kel" kiddie comedy team from the 1990s. Yes... Kenan Thompson is considered thefunnier one. I know! It'sgood to be back, you guys. Pick:New Orleans
Joe: I have to say, and maybe this isgoing against the grain of popular opinion, but I've had more than my fill ofthe weeping laments for the Saints and how the NFL is being oh so hard on themfor their bounty program. These same people are all over the league for itsconcussion policies. The only way we turn this ship around from its collisioncourse with something truly horrific (every Sunday I quietly hope this isn'tthe week someone dies on the field) is to change the league's mentality onaggression. So I'm really QUITE fine with throwing the hammer down on overt sanctioningof on-field violence. Call me a pussy. Pick: Washington
Jacksonville at Minnesota
Aaron: It's kind of hard to take theNFL's highly-publicized player safety prioritization seriously when Vikings RBAdrian Peterson -- eight months removed from surgery to repair his torn leftanterior cruciate and medial collateral ligaments -- is listed as a "gametime decision" to play on Sunday. Asimilarly gruesome injury ended Alvin Mack's collegiate football career in1993's The Program. Remember?! Pick:Minnesota
Joe: I picked up Maurice Jones Drew ata bargain in one of my fantasy leagues, mere days before he reported back tocamp. I declined to pick up Adrian Peterson at a similar bargain. Time to startmaking me look foolish, NFL players! Pick: Minnesota
Atlanta at Kansas City
Aaron: There sure seems to be aninexplicable number of believers in the Chiefs this season. Perhaps I'm in theminority, but I believe Chiefs head coach Romeo Crennel is more likely to befeatured in one of those Coors Light press conference commercials come January,rather than roaming a playoff sideline. I do like 'em at home, though. Pick: Kansas City
Joe: I like the ones where Cam makesmy case for me and then goes the other way. Good to be back! Pick:Atlanta
Philadelphia at Cleveland
Aaron: I picked against the Eagles in their season-opener last year. On theroad. They played the Rams...a squad that ultimately finished with a 2-14record. I learned a valuable lesson thatday. Pick:Philadelphia
Joe: I have to believe it'll be nicefor the Eagles to go through a season without that "Dream Team"nonsense hanging over their heads. Getting some good year-after vibes fromthem. Pick: Philadelphia
St. Louisat Detroit
Aaron: Well, I guess I learned TWOvaluable lessons that Eagles v. Rams game last year. Pick: Detroit
Joe: Detroit is BACK, baby! Any citythat can get the same sentiment out of Clint Eastwood AND Barack Obama thesedays has got to be born under a good sign. Pick: Detroit
Miami at Houston
Aaron: The Texans were looking like one of the AFC's elite teams last seasonbefore QB Matt Schaub went down with a season-ending injury. The bigger surprise, though, might've been inMiami where running back Reggie Bush learned how to...run? Whatever. There are no winners in the battle for smothering humiditysupremacy. Pick:Houston
Joe: The Dolphins are one of aboutfive teams starting their seasons with a quarterback under center whom NOBODYbelieves in. If you ask certain sports media moguls, lack of belief from othersis the #1 ingredient for success, so I guess Miami has this locked up then?Pick: Houston
San Francisco at Green Bay
Aaron: Which version of 49ers QB AlexSmith are you buying? The career-longmediocre QB who last year feasted on a weak regular season schedule and playedgreat in one playoff game or the career-long mediocre QB who was so awful inhis other playoff game that the team overtly flirted withsigning Peyton Manning during the offseason? Pick: Green Bay
Joe: Here's hoping Jim Harbaugh'scamera-hogging diva antics continue alllll season. Pick: GreenBay
Seattle at Arizona
Aaron: And, right on cue, it's thestars of Alex Smith's 2011 regular season feast! This is not an endorsement of fictitious domesticterrorism, but I'll be pulling for an appearance by Bane. Pick: Seattle
Joe: Every time I hear people whiningabout how Lebron James is an evil bastard who abandoned Cleveland, I think ofLarry Fitzgerald. I salute your noble failure, sir! Pick:Seattle
Carolina at Tampa Bay
Aaron: The stifling weather could be an equalizer here, as some terrible Bucsteams of recent vintage have still occasionally shown up at home inSeptember. I talked myself into it! Pick: Tampa Bay
Joe: I mean ... it's not like Charlottein summertime is a picnic either. I kind of like the Panthers as a threat totake what I suspect could be a downwardly mobile AFC South this year. Pick:Carolina
Pittsburgh at Denver
Aaron: More likely scenario forBroncos QB Peyton Manning -- his team wins 12 games or he starts 12 games? You had to think about it for a second ortwo, right? Oh, of course you did. And, that's precisely mypoint! Pick:Pittsburgh
Joe: So glad everybody's piling onPeyton Manning's aching neck. I missed the days when I got to watch Manningprove the haters wrong. Why they gotta HATE??? Pick: Denver
Cincinnati at Baltimore
Aaron: One of these seasons, theRavens defense is going to play well enough to turn this team into a legitimateSuper Bowl threat and -- by proxy -- make a household name out of their so-soquarterback. Just like they did forwhatshisface. Remember? Back in 2001 or something. Pick:Baltimore
Joe: See, I was going to go with"one of these seasons, the bottom's going to fall out on the Ravens."Probably not this week, but still. Pick: Baltimore
San Diego at Oakland
Aaron: Hard to believe I'm THISexcited about a team that might win six games this season, but here weare. My Raiders are rebuilding, but itactually feels like they have a plan. Oakland looked awful in the preseason, but I like 'em here with ahealthy -- albeit thin -- running game and a Chargers team that is beat up onthe offensive line. Pick:Oakland
Joe: Okay, how many times will dothese two teams have to play in the wee hours of the first Monday night of theseason before this game gets the branding it deserves? Ladies and gentlemen,settle in for the Cameron Bowl! Pick: San Diego
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