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Last Week
Joe: 13-2Aaron: 7-9
Current Standings
Joe: 145-76-1Aaron: 136-86-1
Atlanta at Detroit (Saturday)
Aaron: Oh, of course. I started LionsQB Matt Stafford during the first round of my big-money league fantasy playoffslast week. After putting up solidnumbers over the past three weeks, he gave me six goddampoints against the execrable Cardinals when I needed him the most. When my eight-year-old son asks why there areno presents under the Christmas tree, I'm going to show him a picture of YOURFAT FACE, STAFFORD. Pick:Atlanta
Joe: I don't want to talk about himanymore. I should probably feel bad for Detroit fans, having been teased with aplayoff team last year only to have it cruelly yanked away. But betweenStafford and the fact that seemingly every week I went up against Mike Leshourewho scored as many touchdowns are he possibly could and still have the Lionslose ... let's say my sympathy has been drained. Pick: Atlanta
Oakland at Carolina
Aaron: My Raiders insist thatthird-string QB Terrelle Pryor will see some opportunities this week in thirddown situations and in the red zone. Y'know, because when you're 4-10 and havescored the sixth fewest points in the league, you entrust the offense to thelong-term project who's been on the field for three plays inhis two-year NFL career. Pick:Carolina
Joe: Carolina is pulling the old Billstrick of pulling a 7-9 season out of a terrible start and sabotaging anyprospects to improve through the draft. Well done! Pick:Carolina
New Orleans at Dallas
Aaron: Pretty sure it was preordainedthat the 2012 NFC East would end in a spectacular clusterfuck heading into thefinal week, so I'll pick accordingly. Pick: Dallas
Joe: What do you think goes throughJerry Jones's mind when he looks at the Saints, a team whose season wasdeep-sixed by the commissioner's office (or so the outrage goes). Does he feellike the career bank-robber who's been on the run his whole life looking atsomeone get popped? Pick: Dallas
Tennessee at Green Bay
Aaron: While the Packers seem to begetting healthy at juuust the right time, the nitpicky cynicin me can't help but point out that they've allowed most of their 2012opponents to keep the score close all season. They'll be a fascinating storyline in January. Less so against the continued collection ofcream puffs, cakes and éclairs they'll squeak by in December. Pick: Green Bay
Joe: By the NY Giants theory of lyingin the NFC weeds, the Packers would seem to have their opponents right wherethey want them. Pick: Green Bay
Indianapolis at Kansas City
Aaron: Soon-to-be-fired Chiefs headcoach Romeo Crennel is going to be handsomely paid for the final two years ofthe three-year contract he signed prior to the 2012 season. His career record is 28-53. If this isn't aspecific Republican presidential candidate talking point in 2016, I'll bedisappointed. Pick:Indianapolis
Joe: Not that this game is importantenough to warrant it, but you know those mayoral wagers where the mayor ofKansas City will send a case of BBQ to the mayor of Indianapolis, who in turnsends to the mayor of Kansas City ... what? Miniature Formula One cars?Parks and Recreation DVDs? Pick:Indianapolis
Buffalo at Miami
Aaron: NOW, it occurs to me that I'vebeen picking the Bills with much more frequency than the guy who actuallyroots for them. I'mbeginning to think Joe knows something I don't. Pick: Miami
Joe: Well, great. SKYNET has becomeself-aware. Pick: Miami
San Diego at NY Jets
Aaron: It's probably not a good signin the short-term that in the same week third-string QB Greg McElroy is namedthe starter for the Jets, there are reports that the team will pursue MichaelVick for their quarterback spot in 2013. Oh, Jets. Don't ever change. Pick: San Diego
Joe: I still think we've seen NorvTurner's last win for the Chargers. Pick: NY Jets
Washington at Philadelphia
Aaron: Let's slow down on all the"Washington has TWO good quarterbacks" claptrap, America. Backup QB Kirk Cousins is the quintessentialsecond-stringer -- unspectacularly competent -- who's coming off a win againstCleveland. Cleveland. TheRedskins could start Cousins OR a recovering Robert Griffin III this week. The Eagles are worthy of the samecondescending italics. Pick:Washington
Joe: I've been home for Christmas for25 hours now, and I've already got family members clamoring for Andy Reid (mybrother's namesake, of course) to be the next Bills head coach. Somebodybright-side this for me. Pick:Washington
Cincinnati at Pittsburgh
Aaron: The Steelers were outcoachedtwo weeks ago against the Chargers and outplayed last week against theCowboys. While it's FAR too soon towelcome Pittsburgh's Mike Tomlin into the pantheon of incompetent black headcoaches; Art Shell, Dennis Green, Ray Rhodes, Raheem Morris and Herm Edwardsare monitoring the situation. Pick:Pittsburgh
Joe: This Christmas, let's give theSteelers the gift of a January vacation, hmm? Pick:Cincinnati
St. Louis at Tampa Bay
Aaron: The Buccaneers still sport thetop-ranked defense against the run AND the worst defense against the pass. Since the Rams offense still goes through RBSteven Jackson and the Bucs are at home and they're probably still pissed overlast week's 41-0 loss to New Orleans and...etc. Pick: Tampa Bay
Joe: Whereas I think the Bucs havelost it. LOST IT! Scientific finding! Pick: St. Louis
New England at Jacksonville
Aaron: Seems unfair that it's thePatriots who are the only team to receive two byes this season, but after lastweek's heavyweight fight against the 49ers, I suppose it'sdefensible. Pick: New England
Joe: Really annoyed that last week'snear-comeback against the Niners gave Pats fans the bright side of proof thatrunning up the score is necessary. Even when they lose they win. Pick:New England
Minnesota at Houston
Aaron: Surprised to learn the Vikings(with RB Adrian Peterson) and Texans (with RB Arian Foster) only rank fourthand fifth, respectively, in rushing offense. OK, so the three teams ahead of them (Washington, San Francisco andSeattle) have quarterbacks who can run, but keep this bit of trivia in yourback pocket. Use it to chase off the sports-hating relatives after Christmasdinner. Pick: Houston
Joe: Once again, we're still nottalking enough about Adrian Peterson. I know this because someone somewhere isnot talking about him right now. And there's no excuse for that. Pick:Houston
Cleveland at Denver
Aaron: I'm beginning to reconsider my"Broncos have already clinched the division, they're due for aletdown" prognostication strategy. Pick: Denver
Joe: Watch out, Broncos! Don't want totake a jinx-prone winning streak into the playoffs! Start that goldbricking,fellas. Pick: Denver
Chicago at Arizona
Aaron: With their season teetering onthe brink, a loss to the 5-9 Cardinals would undoubtedly be the most "JayCutler" moment of Jay Cutler's career. Chicago
Joe: The Cardinals started the season4-0, you guys. THIS season! THESE Cardinals! Pick: Chicago
NY Giants at Baltimore
Aaron: Both of these once-greatdefenses are now borderline abominable. But, it's the Giants who have some serious health concerns with many ofQB Eli Manning's weapons banged-up. Ithink it's time for the greater New York/New Jersey area to consider thepossibility that Manning's social calendar will be WIDE open for the next ninemonths. Available for birthdayparties! Pick:Baltimore
Joe: I'd say it's the Ravens who areslightly more likely to go into the ultimate swoon, but there's no one in theAFC waiting to overtake them. BTW, is Ray Rice still a great running back? I'mnot being sarcastic -- I honestly don't know. I haven't heard anyone mentionhim all season. Pick: NY Giants
San Francisco at Seattle
Aaron: The 49ers can be schizophrenicfrom week to week, while the Seahawks' earlier loss in San Francisco was on aThursday night as both teams sleepwalked for three hours. It's not exactly anairtight rationale for picking Seattle, but one of these teams has gotta win, Isuppose. Pick:Seattle
Joe: Happy that the Seahawks were ableto get those self-esteem-boosting 50-plus-point outings against the Cardinalsand Bills in time to be wildly overconfident against the 49ers. Pick:San Francisco
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