Last Week
Joe:12-4Aaron: 11-5
Current Standings
Joe: 113-61-1Aaron: 112-62-1
New Orleans at Atlanta
Aaron: The three games on Thanksgivingseemingly debunked the ol' "take the home team on a short week" credothat had been eerily accurate for most of the season. But, like other Thanksgiving events – mywife making/bakingthree pies in one night or America pretending to give a shitabout nationally televised parades, let's say – I'm calling them ALLoutliers. Pick:Atlanta
Joe: Plenty of motivation for theFalcons here, avenging their only loss of the season and trying to re-establishthemselves as the Super Bowl front-runner (they are). I thought for a whilelast week that the Saints had the stuff to make a late run at the playoffs, butwe can't expect anyone to stop Colin Kapernick, can we? Pick:Atlanta
Jacksonville at Buffalo
Aaron: With two weeks left in theregular season of my big-money fantasy football league; I hold a tenuous gripon the fourth and final playoff spot. IfI can win out, I'm in. Why am I boringall of you with this? Because of theinherent hilarity that my fantasy season (and upcoming Christmas shopping)hinges on – in no small part – my NEW wide receiver combination of Cecil Shortsand Justin Blackmon. Both from the 2-9Jaguars. Apologies in advance to myfamily. Pick: Buffalo
Joe: One of these days, fantasy footballwill discover a way to give points for games lost by foolish interceptionsthrown when driving for the tying score. Dibs on the Bills when that happens.Pick: Buffalo
Seattle at Chicago
Aaron: The only thing more amusingthan the NFL experts' retroactive appreciation for Bears QB Jay Cutler is theirretroactive derision for the Seahawks. Wait, wait, wait…a team coached by the esteemed Pete Carroll and led bya rookie quarterback might occasionally be inconsistent intheir performance from week to week? But, they beat New England a few weeks ago! On TV! Pick: Chicago
Joe: Yeah, there's a slight chancethat Chicago's opportunistic defense will feast on Russell Wilson on the road.Pick: Chicago
San Francisco at St. Louis
Aaron: The last time these two teamsmet, the game ended in a tie. I'm stilltrying to decide which postgame storyline was more insulting: the "hey, wefound a few stupid players who stupidly didn't know a regular season game canend in a tie…I mean, that's so stupid, right?" one or the "it's timeto do away with those unsightly ties and play until there's a winner (orsomeone on the field dies)" one. Pick: San Francisco
Joe: I love how Colin Kapernick isalready Tom Brady after two weeks. No pressure, though, guy! Meanwhile, St.Louis is dangerous at home and already has shown that they can hang with theNiners on the road. But I think San Francisco is locked in at this point. Pick:San Francisco
New England at Miami
Aaron: Listening to this past Monday's"BS Report" podcast, it occurs to me that ESPN.com columnist BillSimmons…really believes that the Patriots are the best teamin the AFC? So, you mean I have to setaside some time in mid-January for his "I should've seen the Ravens/Texanscoming" mea culpa podcast? It justso happens I'm free! Hee! Pick: New England
Joe: He can't help it! It's so great.Unfortunately, I don't think the Dolphins have enough weapons to properlyexploit the weak New England defense. I guess the hope is that, one by one, keyPatriots players get waylaid in Miami, "Homer at the Bat"-style. WesWelker at the Ft. Lauderdale Mystery Spot! Pick: New England
Arizona at NY Jets
Aaron: Honestly surprised to see howconsistent – albeit unspectacular – Jets QB Mark Sanchez's numbers have beenduring his 3 ½ seasons in the league. Hetook the Jets to the AFC championship game his first two years and NOW he'sterrible?! He's the same guy he's alwaysbeen! But, if Sanchez played even aninfinitesimal role in the retirement of "Fireman Ed", then…win? Pick: NY Jets
Joe: It's always so unseemly when thenormally protective-to-the-point-of-insulting sports media picks a team anddeclares it open season on them. Yes, the Jets are not a very good team andthey tend to lose in embarrassing, running-into-butts ways. But to act like RexRyan and Mark Sanchez have this coming on some grand moral level ... I reallyhave never understood it. Pick: NY Jets
Indianapolis at Detroit
Aaron: The upstart Colts are 7-4 onthe season, but just 2-3 on the road. The Lions, meanwhile, are playing their third straight home game afterlosing the first two. The city ofDetroit hasn't bore witness to such an "irresistible force vs. immovableobject" match-up since Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant headlined WrestlemaniaIII at the Pontiac Silverdome. Pick:Detroit
Joe: I can't believe we're talkingabout anything but the colossal dumbness of that "accidentally throwingthe challenge flag when the play gets automatically reviewed means the play nolonger gets reviewed" rule that felled the Lions and their admittedlydunderheaded head coach last week. They've finally found a way to codifypassive-aggression. Pick: Indianapolis
Minnesota at Green Bay
Aaron: After their blowout loss to theGiants last week, expect the 7-4 Packers to bounce back with the formula that'sworked so well for them this season – barely beating teams they're obviouslybetter than. Pick: GreenBay
Joe: With all the talk at thebeginning of the season about how passing offense is making a dominant rushingattack obsolete, I have to think the Packers would really appreciate aneffective running back right about now. Pick: Green Bay
Houston at Tennessee
Aaron: I don't know what kind of numbers Texans RB Arian Foster will end upwith when his career is over, but I hope any eventual discussion over his Hallof Fame credentials will include his inexplicable propensity for bow ties whenhe's not in uniform. This is ALWAYS aterrible look for black guys – Nations of Islam and/or Domination,excepted. Pick:Houston
Joe: Can I get a ruling on Kareem Abdul-Jabbar on TheCritic? Anyway, Houston's near-miss against Jacksonville a few weeksago has me nervous that they could still be due for that dreaded"trap" game, but maybe they're on guard against it now. Pick:Houston
Carolina at Kansas City
[I don't know why, but I feel like I shouldmention that Joe and I completed our respective write-ups before the awful newsfrom Kansas City broke yesterday. --Aaron]
Aaron: For the second week in a row,the Panthers are playing in the worst game of the week. Given the level of pressure and competition,it looks like we'll all be treated to "competent" Cam Newton. Again! Then, he gets to play San Diego and Oakland in back-to-back weeks laterthis month. The Panthers couldfinish 6-10. Again! Pick: Carolina
Joe: It's funny that all this ishappening while Cam is on one of the least history-laden teams in one of themost media-unfriendly markets in the league. Imagine the horror show if he wasin Dallas or New York? [shudder] Pick: Carolina
Tampa Bay at Denver
Aaron: With the rest of the AFC Westin their rearview mirror, a decadent array of cupcakes on their remainingschedule AND a short turnaround from this game to their next (in Oakland onThursday night); this has all the makings of a preseason-level effort from theBroncos. Pick: TampaBay
Joe: Can I take a moment to yell ateverybody who saw Doug Martin coming and didn't tell me about it? This ismaddening. Meanwhile, this could be a really fun, offensive-minded game towatch. Thank God the local Fox affiliate is airing "UFC's Road to theOctagon" in its place. (Yeah, yeah, blackout rules.) Pick:Denver
Cleveland at Oakland
Aaron: Great to see the newpatient leadership in Oakland is SO committed to theirlong-term rebuilding plan that they're planning to give callow back-up QBTerrelle Pryor some snaps this week – all in response to the large faction of moronicRaiders fans who insist Carson Palmer is the problem. This should go well. Pick: Cleveland
Joe: Tough to imagine the Brownsfollowing up their big home win against the Steelers with anything but aback-to-Earth loss in Oakland. Which would be nice as somehow my fantasy seasonis riding on Raiders TE Brandon Myers. Pick: Oakland
Cincinnati at San Diego
Aaron: We've all enjoyed the Chargersrecent team-wide banana peel slide. But,save for an early loss to Atlanta, they've been competitive – for the most part– in their defeats. The Bengals have wonthree in a row – against the Raiders, Chiefs and the midseason version of theGiants. I'm not sureeither of these two teams is all that good. Pick: San Diego
Joe: I agree that the Chargers can'tjust keep losing, but this Bengals team is dangerous. Not great, but dangerous.Pick: Cincinnati
Pittsburgh at Baltimore
Aaron: Give the NFL credit...they're hell-benton getting this matchup over as the league's new biggestrivalry. Maybe when they meet next year,the Steelers won't be led by a back-up quarterback who's one or two decadespast his prime. Pick:Baltimore
Joe: Do these two teams just play eachother every week now? Doesn't it seem that way? Also remarkable: how theSteelers have managed to eke out a winning record without having ONE playeryou'd be happy to have on your fantasy team. Pick: Baltimore
Philadelphia at Dallas
Aaron: Much-maligned Cowboys QB TonyRomo has had a surprisingly solid year. Just so I'm clear, the plan is to forget that and unfairly blameeverything on him -- as usual -- when the Cowboys fail to make the playoffs, right? Just checking. Pick: Dallas
Joe: A full-on tank by the Eagles, allthe way down to the top draft pick, is probably exactly what they need. Cleanseit with fire. Pick: Dallas
NY Giants at Washington
Aaron: This seems like the perfecttime to pick the Redskins. They lost inthe last minutes to the Giants earlier this season and Eli Manning has beennowhere to be seen for most of November. But, the Redskins still rank next-to-last in passdefense and don't the Giants get hot around this time every year (that they goon to win the Super Bowl)? Pick:NY Giants
Joe: Very important caveat there, Cam.All this knowing talk about how the Giants operate makes it sound like they'rein the Super Bowl every year. They haven't won playoff games in consecutiveyears in the entire Coughlin era. Pointless numerology neutralized pointlessnumerology! Pick: Washington
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